Year of No

2019. Remember when we were all picking our word of the year? How did you do with yours?
Mine was HEALTH.

My intent was to focus on all aspects of health.

I wanted to get back into a solid workout routine, drink plenty of water and eat more green things and less processed things. I wanted to get back on track with appointments to see all the various doctors to make sure my physical body was well taken care of as well; dentist, lady-doctor, dermatologist, optometrist, you know, the usual.

I wanted to surround myself with friends who made me laugh, challenged me in a good way, and were down for a vent session over a glass (or two) of vino. 

I wanted to be more aware of the ways that my family could be more environmentally friendly and ways that we could be more fiscally responsible. I wanted to read more books, squeeze in some training or classes on things that interested me, and learn new skills.

It sounds like a lot, doesn't it? But I was doing pretty dang good with it all... or so I was telling myself.

To be very honest, I didn’t start really honoring my word until *July*. Half the year was gone!

Sure, I was going to the gym, drinking water, socializing, getting in date nights with the husband, but my plate was so full every day... the weight I was carrying was incredibly heavy. By the time summer rolled around I rarely felt happy. I felt like I was scrambling and running around each day trying to play catch up all the time. I was exhausted in every sense. I tried to give myself "breaks", I tried to schedule in some "self-care" time (like, I literally put it on our family calendar). But it wasn't enough. 

Until I started saying NO.

One day, when I probably needed to hear it the most, I heard someone on a Podcast say “just because I ‘have the time’ doesn’t mean it needs to be my responsibility” and I was like 😲 YES. Dang straight! 🙌🏻

You see, I spent the first half of the year constantly feeling like people just came to me with all the extra stuff. No one ever said it, but it very much felt like it was assumed that since I was a "stay at home mom" I had all the time! I surely wasn't doing anything else!! It also didn't help that I wasn't being honest with myself or anyone else... I wasn't saying "NO". I just kept taking on all these responsibilities!

So I Marie Kondo’d my proverbial plate, started saying NO to things that didn’t need to be my responsibility, and * I did not allow myself to feel guilty about it*.

It did wonders for my emotional/mental health, which is exactly what I was missing! It didn't solve all of my problems, of course. I still struggle sometimes but I'm pretty committed to continuing to stand up for myself. 

So Cheers to 2020 being  the Year of NO, my friends 🥂